The world was a little different when I first came out as gay.
I’d been living in the country for five years, working in a restaurant, and I’d just finished my third year at university.
I didn’t know anything about being a straight person, or even the word ‘straight’.
The idea of coming out as straight, the idea that I was going through some sort of social pressure, it felt really, really scary.
I remember the first time I came out, I was so nervous.
It was the day before I came home, so I had to wear my makeup, which is a huge plus when you’re young and not used to wearing makeup.
I was nervous and my boyfriend didn’t talk to me for the whole day, and so I went into my bedroom and cried.
I came in to my bedroom, and was like, ‘It’s a fucking lie, what am I doing?!’
And I went out to eat with my boyfriend and I was like ‘Oh God, I don’t know how to eat’.
I was just so ashamed of myself.
It’s like, I’m not a straight guy, I just went in, I had a terrible time, and the next day I went home and cried again.
It feels like this is the only time that I’ve cried like that in my entire life.
I think it’s because I’m so used to being the ‘queer’ in my life, that I really felt so alone.
In the beginning, I’d say that’s when I was a bit unsure about coming out, because I had such a hard time being comfortable, but as time has gone on, I’ve come to realise that there’s nothing I can’t overcome.
I’m happy with who I am, I am happy with myself, and as a result, I feel that I’m just a little bit happier.
There are lots of positives in coming out.
I don´t feel that there is something wrong with me, and that I should be ashamed of who I actually am.
It just means I can get by with what I have, and just keep going forward with the things I enjoy.
It is so important to be brave about who you are and not just accept it as ‘normal’.
In some ways, coming out is a bit like coming out to your parents.
You have to face it, you have to accept it, and there are so many challenges, so many things that are going to happen in your life.
It doesn’t mean you have ‘no right’ to be who you really are.
For me, coming to terms with who and what I am is the most liberating thing that I could possibly have.